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And remember it is not just one person we are talking to now but we can speak to 100s of potential partners.So, I would argue, we are not only getting validation from the attention from potential partners, but the game aspect can actually make us addicted to this type of dating through the random notifications, which spike our dopamine.The adoption of technology has changed the way we connect and converse with others in our society and dating is no exception.The prevalence of smart phones mean we are always contactable, social media allows others to get to know us before we have even met, and dating apps give us an abundance of choice in a suitable partner or partners.We not only have a wealth of information on pretty much everyone only a click away but how and where we meet future partners is changing.Before the influx of online dating, meeting partners was pretty much resigned to work, through friends or out on a Saturday night.Looking at my article How Technology is changing your love life excessive choice can have ramifications further down the line in terms of our attitudes towards not only our partners (expendability of our relationships) but also in terms the scale we seek validation, (the expectation and normalization of praise from many rather than just a few). Letamendi says in Time magazine, “Now that we can interact with hundreds – no thousands – of people simultaneously, we’ve strengthened the impact that others have on our self-value.”Not only is there a lack of vulnerability but the nature of ‘the game’ is similar to other games or indeed social media.
They want dating to work around their lives in a time efficient way.
However, this can lead you to feel as if potential partners are expendable.
As you know that there are more people out there who you might be a match with.
The game and time-saving efficient nature of online dating has become more important than actually finding a partner.
As Carole Lieberman’s book says in her book Philip Karahassan is a Psychotherapist and the founder of London with a private practice in Cavendish Square, Central London.