Dating a deaf person
Imagine the initial shock on my face after entering.”Muro mentions a time that her hearing failed her on a date in a way that made her feel “like a creep.” She says: “I went on a date with a woman I met online. At the end of the night, as we walked out [of the restaurant] we hugged and then she kissed me. I quickly figured out that I was not being invited back to her place. apologized profusely.” Muro says they went out on several more dates, but that she now makes “a point to make sure I understand exactly what is happening by asking and checking in.”While innocent mistakes can and do happen, even to the best and most compassionate and respectful among us, there’ve been times when my hearing loss has landed me in scary situations.
One of these situations involved a routine bar outing with a friend.
I thought she asked me if she could email me questions about the final. Then she grabs my arm and leads me to the women’s restroom.
It turns out I had consented to getting it on in the women’s restroom. At that point, I really wanted to go home with her. Long story short, she crossed the street and I followed and she stopped and seemed a bit confused.
Jerry M., 43, also struggles with dating while being hearing-impaired.He's about a block away by the time I realize what has happened. ” The girl I was with on my birthday, who made my hearing aids (and me) shriek like a banshee, initially dismissed me because I accidentally ignored her. It took almost a year for me to convince her that I wanted her.“It was like you thought you were better than me,” she told me, months later. Communication is still the biggest struggle for me, especially in bed.(That is to say, not well.)Not everyone I spoke to finds dating to be an issue, however.Marissa Muro, 45, who identifies as deaf, says: “I haven't had any major issues with dating. I find that people are pretty open and always willing to accommodate me.” But, she adds, “I'm also extremely assertive.” Misunderstandings are common, even with those who have perfect hearing, but being deaf or hard of hearing complicates things further, especially in the often murky territories of communication and consent.