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“I could only juggle three people at a time for one-month spans before it got out of hand — someone would freak out or want commitment,” she says.“I dated someone for nine months that came out of a rotation.And, since I don't have a top-notch memory, it also requires keeping a handy list in my phone.The logic behind multi-dating isn’t rooted so much in the need to distract oneself with a bunch of dudes following a breakup (although it totally can be) as it is in what men have long called "playing the field.” And, it's certainly not a new concept.While, it's been fun and I've learned a lot, I'm thinking that maintaining a rotation isn’t the best thing for me right now. Atypical relationship models work for many people — even if they’re temporary.
But, as human beings with human emotions (not to say someone in your rotation couldn’t be a complete sociopath), dating more than one person can, inevitably, get complicated.“I feel like I would stop immediately if I met someone I really liked.” Gretchen, a former multi-dater who is now in a committed, long-term relationship, says: “Having a rotation worked for me, and I had fun.It got kind of difficult with all of the drama, though.”Cassie*, a 30-year-old designer living in Brooklyn, got out of her rotation only after one date asked her to be monogamous with him. “But, he always brought me on amazing experiences, and it’s hard not to fall for someone when each experience is so fun.”For some women, having a rotation with the hopes of ultimately meeting a long-term partner can also be unfulfilling.I was fresh out of a relationship, breakup wounds still searing.But, rather than stay single, I figured out what the hell I wanted from my next long-term partner, dove straight into dating, and found myself in the middle of a rotation — that is, seeing a multitude of men, all noncommittally.